While there’s Music

We don’t know quite what the root of it is (am I a bad parent for not really wanting to know? That’s another post!), but the boys don’t like music very much.
It used to be more intense than that. They used to hate music, absolutely hate it. When music played, they put their hands over their ears and screeched.
Memorably we were in the library one December (our first December together, of course), when a small school band began to play. Both my boys screamed. They asked – embarrassingly loudly – what that ‘dreadful noise’ was and why I didn’t stop it. Mortified, and upset for the poor children who were playing, I told the boys it was music and that I thought it sounded very nice, whilst ushering them rapidly into the street.
Ah, memories!
The boys really didn’t like it when I sang to them. Now, to be fair to the boys, I am not a good singer. I’m not even a mediocre singer. I am a very poor singer. But, I very much wanted to sing lullabies to my children and it really hurt my feelings when they hated the sound of me singing. I found myself wondering whether they might have liked it if they’d come to us younger, and had more time to get used to the sound of my voice or even (whisper) if they had been born to me. Would that have meant they liked hearing me sing? It made me sad.
But, then a thought struck me: the boys don’t like music, but they do like noise! Rather than making their world quieter, maybe we should try noisier. So I put on my Savage Garden CD at a good volume and we all sang along to ‘The Cannonball Song’ (otherwise known as The Animal Song). With very little encouragement, the boys yelled along with the refrain ‘we want to live LIKE CANNONBALLS’. We were finally enjoying music together!
Savage Garden brought us our next success too. I played I knew I loved you and told the boys (entirely truthfully) that this was their song. I used to think of my children-to-be whenever I played it. As the lyrics say, I loved them before I met them. And, though I was nothing to do with their births, there is a bit of me that thinks I did dream them into life. They are, on occasion, so exactly the children that I longed for, it seems as though some miracle must have brought them.
We still play both songs, often. We have more ‘special songs’ now, and the boys have even chosen favourite songs of their own. The boys sing at church now (sometimes). We even went to a Home Educators’ Music Day today, and they loved it!
Best of all, my children like to hear me sing. Singing a lullaby to my children is a beloved part of our bedtime routine.
Not everything can turn out quite the way we plan it. But, every now and again, I look around and realise that my family is my dream come true.

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10 thoughts on “While there’s Music

  1. In our house music is something we all enjoy and singing is an important way of communicating our feelings for each other. My eldest would never allow me to say I love her but if I’m singing it, it becomes a bit more palatable. One of our family favourites is A Thousand years:
    I have died every day waiting for you
    Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
    For a thousand years
    I’ll love you for a thousand more…

  2. Pingback: Music is our refuge… | 3girlstogether

  3. So glad that your little ones finding out how to enjoy music with you. We were so blessed that our little boy loves music as it is such a central part of our (well, my) life. I always have music on in the car or at home, I’m part of the worship team at church and so on and so on… to have had a child who loathed music or who reacted badly would have been such a hard thing for me. I love the ability to share these times with him. Whether it’s dancing round the living room to the theme tune of Numtums or the Octonauts or singing a lullaby it can be a special connection.

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  5. This is a really thought provoking post. When J came to me, he was a real headbanger, and loved a heavy all consuming rhythm. These days he likes everything except most rap (because of the words he says) and even comes to the concerts of my amateur choir quite willingly as well as more expert classical concerts. But (big but) the only time he made a very serious disclosure to me was when I was singing to him. Never repeated and rather made me question what it was in the singing that prompted that. I don’t suppose I’ll ever know. The power of music.

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